yay! haha.

Pathetic first post. :/

eh this could have been executed much better.
missed opportunity.

Amazing, really.

Wow that was well done, i didnt quiet get the end tho, didnt he kill himelf

I liked it. I enjoyed the ending - which I won't ruin by putting it here - and thought it was nicely shot.

Well done. In and out in under 5 minutes. Although the "Brother thing" was predictable, I like the film. Over all a good job!

Despite the criticism of this short being a "missed opportunity" and "predictable" I felt I did an alright job for my first film. This was literally the first short film I made that consisted of a script and actually thinking of a story. From idea to conception it was less than three days. I did what I could what what I had under a six hour time restraint. Anyways, I hope all of you guys enjoy it.

I thought the picture quality was pretty good, you must have a pretty good camera.

The acting was ok, but could have been better.

The sound was on and off. In places it was pretty good, then other times there was lots of background noise from the wind and the voices were very quiet and not mixed very well.
It kind of ruined the mood when you had shots of silence with the music over the top, then the actors would speak again or something and you would get the loud background noise. I'm not sure how you mic-ed up your actors, but I think this is definitley something to work on. If you didn't use a shotgun mic on a boom pole, then thats a start. If the weather was so bad that you still got bad audio, then try and over dub it later in post-production. Some people say audio is 50% of a movie so don't neglect it!

The story was slightly stupid and predictable. I see lots of people doing these mental case stories. I thought the gore was completely out of place for this story. The film felt like a drama and so I felt the killing scene should have been way more subtle. Also, there seems to be a plot hole in there somewhere, or maybe I didnt understand it completely. But at the end of the killing sequence you see him slit his throat, yet he is alive an well to leach on to his next victim....

Sorry if I sound really harsh, I have seen much worse short films out there and for your first film its pretty good, but I felt I needed to point out what I said above

I'm not going to pull any punches, I'm going to criticize this like I would any other.

OK so, the beginning where he yells 'why?!' is like the cheesiest thing ever. There are so many different things you could have done instead of the big dramatic questioning himself.

The scene where they're sitting down at the table talking...I have never EVER in my entire life seen anyone ACTUALLY sit down like that holding each others hands in that manner. Holding hands? Sure, of course...but not in that way. That way is like straight out of a 50s TV show.

The acting is very mediocre but I'm not gonna criticize that too much because I understand how hard it is to find decent actors for these little projects...especially if it's your first short. The hardest thing to do is directing someone for the first time.

The choice of score is very irritating because (to me anyway) it either just doesn't fit the scene correctly OR it's been played to death in other flicks.

The lighting could have been a little bit better on the roof. Just a little light on the actors face would have shown emotion better, not to say that these actors were capable of showing good emotion but good to know for future reference.

and something that really just doesn't make sense. it shows him slit his own throat and then he's alright in the next scene is odd.

but the thing that irks me the most and maybe it's just me...but if this guy is a serial killer, he's most likely a sociopath, and sociopaths aren't really capable of having emotions like "our" killer here...i don't know...it's probably just me.

So we can use classical music????

Didn't like it. What was with the scene out side cafe with the dumbass onlookers watching them shoot the scene?

story= boring, predictable, and just not credible.,.Like he flipped into a murderer in two seconds..would have been nice to see some transition from lover to murderers

@josefhrehorow

I had one day to shoot (less than 6 hours was my time limit when I checked out the camera) and edit. The two days before the shoot I came up with the concept. It's not like I had a long time to really fine tune my script and get rid of as many plot holes as I could. As for the acting, these people were first time actors and it was hard to get them to do exactly what I wanted. As compared to everyone else's that went to the same camp as me, mine was one of the best.

See Beneades, that's what makes us all pissed off because unlike many entrants here, your film was a spur of the moment given little effort. Therefore some of us here don't think your "win" was well deserved.

Mine was no way of a spur of the moment thing or given little effort. I put a lot of work into it but my schedule at NYFA did not allow me to have a long time to really fine tune it. I had 4 other shorts to work on with members of my group. But if you are pissed at me "winning" then take it up with Indy Mogul. I'm not trying to argue, although it may seem like it, I am just trying to get the facts straight so that you guys are not as biased as can be.

I don't care that you won. and no, you can use any music you want. But most famous pieces get played out and they just sound boring. OR they don't quite fit as well as some other pieces do.

I hate when people have to use the same boring old piece when there are millions of other unused masterpieces that would have fit even better.

I'm just criticizing what I watched. Do better next time.

and another thing...I'm thoroughly convinced that even a sociopath like Hannibal Lecter wouldn't have just gone and eaten that guy without finding out what was up.

This guy was just dumb...for a comedy it would have been hilarious of him to flip out so quickly but for a drama/thriller/horror...it just seemed dumb.

I'm sorry that it sounds like I'm just ripping your film for the hell of it, because I'm not. I'm just giving constructive criticism. I want you to do better next time. Have a bunch of already ironed out stories to choose from...not just have one that isn't a finished story to go shoot. You said you didn't have time to get rid of all the plot holes and such...well, don't use that story if it isn't ready. Use one that is ready to go.

Otherwise it just looks sloppy.